the phuckery: 2008-11-23

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Dear God,
I'm guessing your extremely busy analyzing every thought/prayer and intention of every human on the planet but can you spare a moment of your time. I don't mean to imply you've forgotten to turn the temp down in California but we are 48 hours away from December and I could lay out at the beach today. Ima be honest (assuming that scores some points,) I'm OVER it. I wanna feel the chill in the air, I wanna wear some of these damn winter clothes, I wanna buy wood at Vons. Maybe your not so hot (pun intended) on us out West with our "gay marriage" fights and that devilish "open mindedness" thing but can we get some slack. I'm not asking for a blizzard.. just cold enough to have to put the heat on in the house. Cold enough to rock this dope Nike sportswear bubble vest without looking like a jackass. I'm willing to give as well.. Ill even take a look at this whole "evolution" thing... I'll even start preparing for the end of days, at least for the winter.... as long as i can see my breath...

Friday, November 28, 2008

This is AWESOME.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving.

When we let go of our battles and open our hearts to things as they are, we rest in the present moment. That is the beginning and the end of spirituality. Its impossible to not feel gratitude and peace there. Lord knows I spend a lot of my life trapped in my brains perception of reality as if it were everyones, which is both ignorant and naive. Thanksgiving reminds us of whats important. The trick is being able to hold onto it after the pumpkin pie. Its not about trying its about allowing. Now if I can only remember that.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Rock went limp.

Don't even think about fronting. At some point you freaking loved Limp Bizkit. It was most likely around the time they put out the Faith remix and it lingered throughout their Significant Other album. Sure after that it all stopped, but for a moment in time they were the shit and nobody could fuck with them live. This is the part thats tough for alot of people to admit- Fred Durst was a monster frontman... well, when he was onstage at least... offstage shit got a little shaky but when they hit the stage it was like a punch in the face. Just watch this shit at Woodstock.. who does this now? NO ONE. Sure one could argue that they were a poormans Rage Against the Machine but who cares. Rock could use some of that energy right about now. Nobodys angry anymore.. they are all stuck in some type of permanent photo shoot trying to date one of the chics from The Hills. I want the good old days when there was a decent chance Axl Rose was gonna jump in the crowd and kick you in your face with his size 12 Doc Martins because hes been up for 3 days on coke. Thats rock and roll..

WARNING TO ANYONE OVER 14

If you have hit even the early stages of puberty and dont live in Japan this is not acceptable. Your chances of getting laid will diminish greatly.

Small Talk

"Hey how bout this weather", "Man i need my coffee", "Almost Friday".. Is it just me that feels extrememly awkward with small talk. Its like a program in our brain that kicks in when the walls shrink around us and someone we "kinda" know.. Think about it. Are you even "there" during these conversations at the urinal. I dont know about you but I can have a whole conversation about the "rain" while at the same time thinking about how many more days till I'm in Cabo. Is that dickish or normal? Work elevators are ground zero for this shit. I just got done talking about "my beard" with someone I barely know on the 2nd floor. When it got silent I went right to the "weather" without blinking.

"Iron" Maiden Noir holiday collection

Dont Sleep on this brand
SEE

Vrrrooom. Prius Envy

Hondas hydrogen concept car. Its not that Im mad at the Prius, I just think its time theres another viable option. Question: Is their a Prius in CA that doesnt have an Obama sticker on bumper?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"Can't shake this headache"

Damn.

Blaze.

Get em at Undefeated.

AM x Undefeated

Monday, November 24, 2008

Make it stop: Dear Greedy Genius

Dear Greedy Genius,
Please stop. Your are the Ed Hardy of footwear and the fact that velour FUBU sweatsuits are about the only thing you could rock with these should sent up a flare that the game is over. These should be sold at 7-11 next to the slurpee bar. Take your money and run.

Yo, chill.

I love winter.. The crisp air, the weather, the clothes.. I wait all year for it. A break from the constant perfect postcard california sunshine. I'm sure people stuck in north dakota would like to punch me but I'm over it.. Gimme some hail, I wanna scrape my windshield in the morning, I wanna wear a bubble jacket and some timberland boots. I wanna rock flannels everyday and grow my beard rick rubin style. And not the cool Supreme flannels but some real Sears brand flannels that you wear to cut wood. Fuck it I wanna be too cold. California is amazing in so many ways- the ocean, the weed, the lack of republicans, etc but we don't have any damn seasons. I'm actually excited its gonna be 65 today- that's hardcore for us. We over react out here. A rain sprinkle is a category 5 hurricane and a 65 degree day is grounds for school closings. Ill take it.

New Malcolm Gladwell: Outliers

Im halfway throught this book and its amazing.. Malcolm is the guy who wrote Blink and The Tipping Point. If your into that type of thing I highly recommend this one. Its an interesting look at the paths to success.

The Bench is warmer

The Eagles have officially entered what is referred to as a "dark period." After a first half equivalent of chris clancy at QB, andy reid benched mcnabb.. Fucking benched him in the middle of what was a season defining game against one of the best defenses in the nfl... In their house.. I was immediately torn between a loyalty to the guy who's become a punchin bag for the city of Philadelphia and the need for a shakeup, better yet a gut check for a team playing with "blue balls."-
The end result was a disaster. Haltime 10-7 end of 4th 36-7.. Ouch. Kevin Kolb sucked bigtime. I was looking for a reason to buy into the move but never got one. He played how I would imagine carrie underwood would play if she was in the nfl. What exactly went into the decision to sit the face of the Eagles in the middle of such a pivitol game? Did Donavon make a move on his wife? Make a fat joke? Shit I hope there was something more than a bad half of football. And now that there's proof that the issues run deeper than QB will he be back on thurs against the cards? Maybe he'll bench the offensive coordinator instead.. That all said I'm an eagles fan thru thick and thin and ill be back in front of the tv thursday night (hopefully rooting for Mcnabb)I get the fact that outside of a miracle this season is done and it might be a minute until the Eagles are back in contention. I have a feeling Mcnabb and Reid won't be here next year.. dawkins will most likely be gone as well. For now I go into week to week mode with each game being my own mini superbowl.. If that doesn't work there's always madden 09 where I can always win.

Converse Staple Pigeons: Mad I am not.

Now this is hot.

Simplify your entertainment setup with the GenevaSound Home Theater ($4,000). This all-in-one electronic-furniture hybrid features a sleek piano-lacquered wooden cabinet that houses a 700-watt amplifier, 7 speakers, a 12-inch subwoofer, CD player, FM radio, and an integrated iPod/iPhone dock. TV sadly not included.
BUY ME

Deppshit: a gem from shanepowers.com

You are NOT JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!! Not even if you squint really really hard in a mirror. You are a clown.
You are not as interesting, cool, original, or as good looking as Johnny Depp. I would imagine Johnny Depp has to be somewhat annoyed at you for trying to fuckin BE JOHNNY DEPP.
Please man, get off Johnny Depp's nutsack.
As nutsacks go, it's a quality nutsack to be hangin off of. But fuck dude. CMON.
for another example of a johnny depp "nutsack leech" go HERE.
Now go get your rubber nose and your unicycle from valet and pedal the fuck outta here.

Love,
Shane